Episode Archive

The Third Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Extravaganza

The show you wait for all year is here! Hot diggy!
Join X and Cootie in the luxury of their library as they discuss holiday traditions, myths, and legends from around the world. Co-host Al McPherson flips us a bird. Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema break down the  holiday classic, Santa’s Slay, and X’s love and admiration of wrestling icon Bill Goldberg comes to terrifying light.
You’ll hear holiday greetings from friends and Acolytes and a brand new holiday song from X!
Why waste time with family and friends this holiday season? Spend Christmas with the Devil, right here on KTG.
Hail Santa!

EPISODE 38: HELLRAISER

HELLRAISER ~

Welcome to another episode of Kiss the Goat! This time around, Cootie and X try to wrap their arms around Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Is it a Devil movie, or just a glorified BDSM show? We know the answers, and so do you. Look into your heart. You know it to be true.
You’ll also get to hear a man possessed by a Muppet, a funky fresh Ask the Goat, and we’re joined by Chef Al for a recipe that straddles the line between pleasure and pain. And what do Christopher Reeve, Christopher Lambert and Linda McMahon have to do with Hellraiser? Not much, for sure, but that doesn’t keep us from talking about them! Hang on to your butts and gently insert this show into your earholes! You’ll be moderately surprised that you did.

EPISODE 37: DEMONS

DEMONS ~ Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to accept free movie tickets from a guy with a half-metal face. X and Cootie learn this lesson the hard way as they roll through Lamberto Bava’s 1985 goopfest, Demons, on this episode of Kiss the Goat.
You’ll also get a great recipe from Allan McPherson, another wacky exorcism, and hopefully, you’ll gain a brand new respect for the glory that is Tony the Pimp .
Join Cootie, X, and Al for another obscenely informational episode of KTG. Shove this into your faceholes before a helicopter comes crashing through your roof!

EPISODE 36: I DRINK YOUR BLOOD

I Drink Your Blood ~

The 1971 grindhouse classic is back in an amazing two-disc Blu-Ray set, and Cootie and X have got it! One of them is happy about it! Guess which one?
Please enjoy the new episode of KTG, complete with the new hit segment, The Devil Eats Out, with our own personal gourmand, Allan McPherson. You won’t believe what he’s created for this episode, but you might piss yourself hearing about it. Also: Ask the Goat and what happens when The Little Mermaid rises from the sea to possess a South African woman? You’ll find out in Get Your Exorcize!
Take your mind off of the election sideshow with one of the funniest episodes X  and Cootie have ever manifested into being! Shove this into your earholes right away! Spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell strangers! Hail Cindy!

EPISODE 35: THE WITCH

Welcome to the triumphant return of Kiss the Goat! Well, maybe triumphant isn’t the right word. Victorious? Maybe… no.  Okay. Welcome to the audible return of Kiss the Goat!
We’ve got some of the old segments you loved, some new stuff we hope you’ll really dig, and we’re taking a look at one of the most popular horror movies in recent years: The  Witch.
All KINDS of stuff going in this episode, some barely controlled madness. We present it with the best of  intentions. Not for children. Not for a lot of adults, too. Fair warning.

EPISODE 33: CARRIE

Carrie ~

Cootie and X continue their voyage through the land of Condemned Films, stopping this time in 1976 to go to prom. That’s right, it’s Brian De Palmas’s Stephen King’s Carrie, in all of its full-frontal, blood-soaked glory. I mean, you’ve seen “Carrie,” right?

Right?

Oh, dude. You’ve got to see “Carrie.” Then again, X and Cootie spoil the shit out of it on this episode, so you should probably get your priorities straight.

Singing! Bleeding! Singing! It’s true. This may be the most musical episode of KTG. It may also be the longest. And also maybe the funniest. That’s arguable. Subjective. You should find out for yourself.

There’s also questions, answers, quanswers, and Sin’s got Satan in the News for your ass. But don’t listen to it with your ass. Listen with your face ears! And how do you do that? Simple.

PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!

I guess that should be, “plug THEM up.”
Ears is plurals.

EPISODE 32: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (COMMENTARY)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ~

Drunk on a Monday? Who would dare?
Why, X and Cootie would, and we’ve got the audio evidence to prove it.
Once again, your gracious hosts have traveled outside their safety zone to provide you with a commentary for a classic horror film they wouldn’t get the chance to discuss otherwise. There may not be any devils in this episode’s movie, but there are lots of chainsaws.
There are also a lot of bad jokes and foul language. What’s new?
Please join X and Cootie as they talk all the way through “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Enjoy!

EPISODE 31: EVENT HORIZON (COMMENTARY)

Event Horizon ~

Hey, what’cha doin’ tonight?
Are you maybe watching EVENT HORIZON?
You should watch it with X and Cootie!
Tune in to the very first KTG movie commentary, as we run our fat drunk mouths all the way through this haunted spaceship classic. It’s still scary, and even better with the two of us yammering all the way through it!
You won’t need eyes to listen to us talk! Cue up your DVD and go to hell!
#CreepySamNeill

EPISODE 30: PSYCHO

Psycho ~

Have you ever heard of the League of Decency? Certainly not something we would normally be involved with, but for decades, they policed motion pictures even more strictly than the MPAA. They had the power to rate films “C — CONDEMNED.” which they gleefully did for Psycho.

What kind of movies did the LOD hate so much they felt the need to condemn them? Let’s find out!
On Episode 30 of Kiss the Goat, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema take a slight detour and start a series on the condemned films of the League of Decency, starting with Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho! There are no sacred cows on Kiss the Goat, and X & Cootie still give it the business.
Also: Sin returns with a super-segment of Satan in the News, we take the Demon Test, and Cootie has an announcement concerning our web presence. We also use terrible language, put forth unpopular opinions, and make strange sounds with our bodies.

Doesn’t that sound like how you want to spend two hours? It sure does to you!
Lube up those ear canals and slowly ease us into them! It only hurts for a second!

KISS THE GOAT IS A PROUD MEMBER OF THE LEGION PODCASTS NETWORK!