Welcome back to the Online Shrine of Satanic Cinema as Cootie, X, and Chef Al take a maggot-filled gander at Lucio Fulci’s absurd classic, City of the Living Dead. Dead priests! Demon zombie ghoul things! Christopher George! What else could you possibly ask for from a movie?[please don’t say logic please don’t say logic please don’t say logic]
Also on this episode, fancy people perform an exorcism on Boss Nass, Chef Al actually says the word, “thalamus,” and, surprise of all surprises, Cootie and X have been hitting the rum.
How does City of the Living Dead perform during Three Questions? What amazing queries did the listeners send in for Ask the Goat? What horrible song will Drunken X sing at the least appropriate time?
The only way to find is to unctuously slither this show into your earholes, which are on the sides of your face, like flames.
DUNWICH OR BUST!
Its Cinema PSYOPS Kisses The Goat as X and Cootie from Kiss The Goat are summoned into the Lab and the group covers Alucarda for the second Blasphemous Easter Special! The bots are taught christianity and the stations of the cross by Matt. As all religions tend to do, the bots have their logical functions destroyed by faith as they are whipped into a frenzy of messiah complexes, and holy wars. Cort is forced to set their faiths to pagan and the results are the satanic summoning of X and Cootie to join forces and cover Alucarda.
The show you wait for all year is here! Hot diggy!
Join X and Cootie in the luxury of their library as they discuss holiday traditions, myths, and legends from around the world. Co-host Al McPherson flips us a bird. Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema break down the holiday classic, Santa’s Slay, and X’s love and admiration of wrestling icon Bill Goldberg comes to terrifying light.
You’ll hear holiday greetings from friends and Acolytes and a brand new holiday song from X!
Why waste time with family and friends this holiday season? Spend Christmas with the Devil, right here on KTG.
Welcome to another episode of Kiss the Goat! This time around, Cootie and X try to wrap their arms around Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Is it a Devil movie, or just a glorified BDSM show? We know the answers, and so do you. Look into your heart. You know it to be true.
You’ll also get to hear a man possessed by a Muppet, a funky fresh Ask the Goat, and we’re joined by Chef Al for a recipe that straddles the line between pleasure and pain. And what do Christopher Reeve, Christopher Lambert and Linda McMahon have to do with Hellraiser? Not much, for sure, but that doesn’t keep us from talking about them! Hang on to your butts and gently insert this show into your earholes! You’ll be moderately surprised that you did.
DEMONS ~ Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to accept free movie tickets from a guy with a half-metal face. X and Cootie learn this lesson the hard way as they roll through Lamberto Bava’s 1985 goopfest, Demons, on this episode of Kiss the Goat.
You’ll also get a great recipe from Allan McPherson, another wacky exorcism, and hopefully, you’ll gain a brand new respect for the glory that is Tony the Pimp .
Join Cootie, X, and Al for another obscenely informational episode of KTG. Shove this into your faceholes before a helicopter comes crashing through your roof!
I Drink Your Blood ~
The 1971 grindhouse classic is back in an amazing two-disc Blu-Ray set, and Cootie and X have got it! One of them is happy about it! Guess which one?
Please enjoy the new episode of KTG, complete with the new hit segment, The Devil Eats Out, with our own personal gourmand, Allan McPherson. You won’t believe what he’s created for this episode, but you might piss yourself hearing about it. Also: Ask the Goat and what happens when The Little Mermaid rises from the sea to possess a South African woman? You’ll find out in Get Your Exorcize!
Take your mind off of the election sideshow with one of the funniest episodes X and Cootie have ever manifested into being! Shove this into your earholes right away! Spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell strangers! Hail Cindy!
Welcome to the triumphant return of Kiss the Goat! Well, maybe triumphant isn’t the right word. Victorious? Maybe… no. Okay. Welcome to the audible return of Kiss the Goat!
We’ve got some of the old segments you loved, some new stuff we hope you’ll really dig, and we’re taking a look at one of the most popular horror movies in recent years: The Witch.
All KINDS of stuff going in this episode, some barely controlled madness. We present it with the best of intentions. Not for children. Not for a lot of adults, too. Fair warning.
Let us speak now of fallen friends and colleagues.
Join us as we say goodbye to our faithful “Satan in the News” correspondent, Cindy “Sin” Fallon.
Be warned: this is not an easy listen. If you are triggered by frank talk about suicide, we strongly suggest you give this one a miss.
Cootie and X continue their voyage through the land of Condemned Films, stopping this time in 1976 to go to prom. That’s right, it’s Brian De Palmas’s Stephen King’s Carrie, in all of its full-frontal, blood-soaked glory. I mean, you’ve seen “Carrie,” right?
Oh, dude. You’ve got to see “Carrie.” Then again, X and Cootie spoil the shit out of it on this episode, so you should probably get your priorities straight.
Singing! Bleeding! Singing! It’s true. This may be the most musical episode of KTG. It may also be the longest. And also maybe the funniest. That’s arguable. Subjective. You should find out for yourself.
There’s also questions, answers, quanswers, and Sin’s got Satan in the News for your ass. But don’t listen to it with your ass. Listen with your face ears! And how do you do that? Simple.
PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!
I guess that should be, “plug THEM up.”
Ears is plurals.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ~
Drunk on a Monday? Who would dare?
Why, X and Cootie would, and we’ve got the audio evidence to prove it.
Once again, your gracious hosts have traveled outside their safety zone to provide you with a commentary for a classic horror film they wouldn’t get the chance to discuss otherwise. There may not be any devils in this episode’s movie, but there are lots of chainsaws.
There are also a lot of bad jokes and foul language. What’s new?
Please join X and Cootie as they talk all the way through “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Enjoy!